Work place parents

We had an essay writing competition in office for all branches/regions in India. The topic/theme was – Work place parents.

The winners for each region were declared and I read through some of the first prize entries. Out of the lot, I really liked the entry that won the first place for Chennai region. I think it really stood out among all the entries I had read.

The winner's name is Nisha R Kurup and I really liked the blunt and straight forward manner she put forward her ideas and thoughts in her entry. Check out the essay for more …

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10 Tips to manage Work and Home Time

Now, if there could be anyone who can write a ‘real’ book on Time Management, it has to be a Working Mother. Look around and you will see, women in your own family or team do it; however, most of us are selectively blind and go-ahead and buy books on Time Management and crib that the organization has changed policies on reimbursement on self-help books.

The mention of the word, Working ‘mothers’ is intentional – not a mistake. All of us Indians still live in a world where Women are the personification of Shakthi, for no reason. Imagine a statue of Goddess Durga and map it with our own Working Mother – fits like a ‘T’, right? Just replace those weapons (of mass destruction?) with other weapons (of mass productivity?) like a ladle, pacifier, mouse, E MI cheque, cell phone and vacuum stick.

Even today, it is Amma, who is to be blamed if the child is late to school – why? Amma might have woken up late, taken time to pack lunch, make breakfast, get the child ready,etc. What was Appa doing? Choose any of the answers: sleeping / reading the newspaper / woken up late and is himself late to work. Now, if there are exceptional fathers who get their children ready for school in the morning and / or drop them at school / bus-boarding point, then they are as mentioned already, ‘exceptional’ fathers. So, Time Management is more a lesson for the lady of the house than the man of the house. So, these tips are aimed at women who have an office to go to and manage home and hearth. Again, this does not in any way restrict men, to read the same.

Tip 1: What works for Rukmini, may not work for Maria: Never take a tip as it is and whine about its failure for you. Always customize / personalize any tip / suggestion that you get from anyone

Tip 2: Do not bench mark against your Grandma: It is just a phantom of our subconscious mind - Grandma who made finger-licking vadaams and mouth-watering pickles did not have a H1 Self-Appraisal deadline pending. Do not emulate your grandma in all that you do – just take things that suit you (do remember Tip 1)

Tip 3: You are not from Krypton: Accept the fact: you are not Superwoman. Try doing things at a pace that normal humans do. Do not set unachievable expectations from yourself and end up feeling guilty. In the same lines, no one is a perfectionist – while you do not have high expectations from your husband who does not know the difference between Toor Dal and Masoor Dal, why punish yourself? Relax

Tip 4: Internet is 40 years old: Do not worry / burden yourself with chores like paying Electricity Bills / Phone Bills / Income Tax / Insurance Bills / Ticket Booking, etc. Have a net Transaction id wherever required or simple – just walk across to ‘Exstasy’ – the service desk that we TCSers have

Tip 5: Look up dictionary.com (remember Tip 4, do not waste time searching for a ‘real’ dictionary) to understand the difference between Urgent and Important: Prioritize your work – at home and at office. Make ‘To Do’ lists, attach priorities, put the list where it is always visible, scratch / tick once done (its psychological again, helps you feel a sense of achievement) – do all that you can, to see in what order you need to get things done. This takes at least 10 minutes, but will save you hours ahead in the day

Tip 6: Early morning is not meant for cooking fresh food: Traditionally, mothers wake up in the morning and cook food for the day – remember, those were the daysov when refrigerators, microwave ovens were not invented. With offices moving to outskirts, can you invest your precious morning time to cook fresh for the day? – Yes / No / Maybe – there can only be one answer, and that is not a ‘yes’. However late you reach home in the night, finish the cooking for the next day. Get cooking / storing / thawing tips from other women. Mind you – even the homemaker next door gets her cook to cook food for the next day, the previous day – so, what are you feeling guilty about?

Tip 7: Get the children to be independent: Tying shoe laces is okay for a 3 year old but not for a 10 year old. Teach the life skill of being independent even as they are young – teach them to fish, do not provide fish.

Tip 8: Do not feel guilty: There are scores of things that you are unable to do, due to lack of time – the minute you feel guilty, you try racing against time and try doing such things, only resulting in poor allocation of time for other more important things, adding stress to yourself. If you are unable to see-off your child to the school-bus boarding point every day and get someone else to do it, so that you can make it to office on time; do not feel guilty of it (Remember Tip 2, do not benchmark against Grandma or Amma)

Tip 9: Take good care of yourself: This is something that no time management expert will tell you, only your mother will – take good care of yourself. A person who effectively manages time is highly organized and planned and all such careful plans can go haywire if you do not take care of yourself. Health is wealth is not just a proverb, we read in Kindergarten. Eat healthy, think positive and exercise (now, don’t give this excuse of ‘no time’)

Tip 10: DAWN Awareness at Home: The most difficult tip and task – spread the awareness at home. Amma can hold all weapons like Goddess Durga only in an Ad copy, not in reality. Let your parents (in-laws) / husband / children help you with chores and not ‘imagine’ that they are doing YOU a favor, they are just sharing work at their own home.

The base of all effective Time Management is that there is limited time and unlimited work. Common time-management techniques like identifying the 80/20 rule, having a clutter-free work desk, delegation, saying ‘No’, doing the most-disliked task first; may all seem cliched and may or may not be applicable to most, however, is worth giving a try too.

Philosophically however, we always thought Death was the universal equalizer, Time too is, and to manage the same efficiently is a great privilege. Denis Waitley rightly said, “Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can't buy more hours. Scientists can't invent new minutes. And you can't save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow”.

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Ammama

As Ammama’s (Grandma) third death anniversary nears, my mind goes back to a flashback of some memories. I recollect of an incident….

This was when Anto and I used to stay in Tripunithura for a couple of months. I was in 11th std and Anto was in 7th std. Ammama as usual used to think both of us as incapable to walk by the side of Kerala roads as we still were very much labelled as the 'Brainless NRIs'. However, this incident just goes to show how influential Ammama was with people. :-)

This was the first time both of us set off for school in Tripunithura and was walking towards the SN junction where we could catch our school bus. I ensured we kept a safe distance from the vehicles passing by. I do have the habit of occasionally turning around just to have an idea who all is walking behind us, for safety reasons. After a while, I noticed a milkman seemed to be following us. I kept telling myself that it was just my imagination but that feeling just grew stronger. I stepped up the pace and we walked faster and got on to the bus. I remember I let out a huge sigh of relief and looked at Anto who as usual was oblivious to what was happening and was enjoying the sights through the window seat.

We came back home that day and I hinted to Ammama what happened. She seemed to have a satisfied look on her face, which left me a little surprised. Later she revealed it was her master plan to send a spy to keep a watch on us and the milkman readily agreed for this assignment. I wish I knew about all her spies.

Yet another anniversary….and I miss her…

Image Courtesy: allposters.com

Stress Busters - Household work and Blogging

Apart from the usual stress busters like listening to music and reading, I have discovered that household work and blogging are great stress busters. I find solace in getting immersed in these activities. These accomplish two of the many objectives of life – managing your own space and speaking out your mind to the whole world.

Household work is a never ending activity. There is never a day when one can say there is no household work to be completed. Hence this is a very reliable activity that can prove to be a stress buster. Of course, this can be considered as a stress buster only if you are trying to keep your mind off from office work and other personal matters. If household work is the cause of stress, what I have told you so far does not hold good. :-D A clean kitchen and some warm food cooked by me make my day end with a smile. Well, do not get the impression that I am a good cook. I can cook for my survival, and hence the cuisine is aptly termed as ‘The Survival Cuisine’.

Blogging, on the other hand, is not a very reliable stress buster activity for me as it purely depends if I am in a mood to type out ideas and thoughts and also whether there is anything interesting to blog about. But once in the right mood for it, there is no one and nothing that can stop me. I admire all those bloggers who have the ability to post everyday a little bit about their lives and what goes on in their minds. This really requires a proper routine in life and dedication.

Discipline, in short, is the key to getting everything you want done in life.

Sharoor Mania

Many years ago…

I carelessly glance through the papers…

Local news …. interesting

What’s on TV …? interesting

Editorial ….. hmmm

Politics …. yawn…zzzzz

My eyes scan across some names flashed across the newspaper…. Princess Diana……Sheikh Zayed Al Nahyan…….Clinton……Kofi Annan……Nelson Mandela…….Prince Charles……..Atal Bihari Vajpayee…….Shashi Tharoor……..Sachin Tendulkar…….

Year - 2009

Umsy mentions about supporting Shashi Tharoor. Ok.

I come across more stuff about Shashi Tharoor in a random fashion. Hmmm….this person is popular.

All this while, I had read about him, occasionally spotted his name here and there. I never knew how he looked like, neither do I remember him speak about anything. All this thanks to the ignorant life I lead and hence thoughts about him do not linger for long like many others.

May 28, 2009

I had landed back in India on May 17 from London and decided to go on vacation during the last week of May. It was good to be back in Kerala after 5 months. I lazily switched from one channel to the next. I stopped to see the news telecast on CNN IBN about the oath taking of the MPs of Lok Sabha. I watched various MPs taking the oath; some fumbling in spite of reading it out; some making funny careless mistakes; some half heartedly blurting out stuff which I don’t think made any sense to them. I was almost fed up and was about to change the channel when I heard one of the MPs taking the oath. At what I saw and heard. I was stunned. I could see a gleam in his eyes when he spoke each word; I could hear each word pronounced correctly (for a change); I could see there was an air of confidence and freshness in his mannerisms. Who is this person?

…what was his name again? Shashi Tharoor. Yes, this was my first introduction to the Sharoor Mania. I was mesmerised by his personality. Later on, I was mesmerised also by his handsome looks. Ok, I am giving a damp opinion on his looks because I am trying to control my words and thoughts otherwise you would think I am just another crazy girl with a stupid crush….sigh. Moreover, I was thrilled to know he is a Mallu like me…or let me use a more politically correct term - he is a Keralite like me!

I decided to blog about him after a conversation I had with one of my friends on his interesting personality and decided it was a high time that I do mention about him.

I have never failed to sit back and listen to his interviews in various news channels. I am a fan of his communication skills and look forward to hear feedback that is more positive. I have not read any of his books yet and would like to read them sometime soon. He is on Twitter and so am I but I have no clue on how to use it. :-D

I felt sorry when I heard that initially people used to point out that he could not speak Malayalam but he proved everyone wrong. Probably he has an accent in the way he speaks which is obvious if you consider the number of years he has spent outside India. It would be the same case for a Keralite who spent most of his lifetime in Kerala and then decides to speak in Hindi that without doubt will have a Malayalam accent to it. C’mon people, give him a break. It is his mother tongue, he knows what he is talking about, and as long as you can understand, what he speaks….then what is the big deal? Our attitude has to change; only then, the State can really declare itself as literate. Literacy is just not about whether you get your A, B and Cs correctly, it is about opening up your mind to fresh ideas and thoughts and not be sunk deep in narrow-minded conventions.

It is still early to declare if I am a fan of his work but he sure can be a promising personality if he keeps his word of taking care of his constituency in Kerala. I wish him all the very best!

(Photo courtesy - The Internet)

Where the mind is without fear.....

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action;
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

-- Rabindranath Tagore

Today, out of the blue, I recalled reciting this poem. Once upon a time, this was like a school prayer for me. It reminded me of the days when we used to stand in the hot sun during the school assembly, in our sky blue shirts and grey pinafores, with my hair either high up in a ponytail or plaited on both sides and our school principal Mr Suresh Mathur used to recite it and we used to repeat every line after him.

Today as I recalled the poem, the first few lines, made me feel as if I got out of a cage and a strong breeze was blowing, which just made me feel free. All disturbed thoughts of one’s mind completely evaporated and the mind became a comfortable blankness. It has a patriotic feel to it but also it makes an individual feel free from within.

How I wish I realised the meaning of what I used to recite during my school days and realise that those indeed were the days of absolute bliss and freedom.

One of my crazy lazy days....

It was one of those extremely rare lazy days when colleagues come up and ask, "Is your work done?" and I respond with a sleepy smile, "What is work?". I would have this look on my face where one would get the feeling that I was just back from a space mission to the Moon and seemed to be very light headed.....

The following are random parts of various transcripts (my replies) while I chatted away lazily all day long with various friends: (I decided not to get into the details and background of each conversation as these bits are amusing on their own....)

pssst........whats up? (asking in a raspy voice...sss...)

thot the voice ws appropriate if your 'psst'ing me...

debating on whether to go home this weekend or not, Sat, Sun and Mon are holidays for me...no train tickets...flight is damn expensive (I can reach another country with that money)....only bus tickets available...i hate bus journeys esp when I am alone...God knows if I end up sitting next to a creep...

I wanna go home you dodo....today is Anto's bday...so thot it wud be nice to be home this weekend...maybe i should tell my family to migrate to another country for the weekend...wht say? :-D

all of a sudden I am feeling so homesick....that I jus might cry out like a 1 yr old baby... :-((

deciding whether to go home...there is only one option for me...there is one long distance train...but only tatkal available...but i will have to pay the price for Gorakhpur to Trivandrum
Sleeper = approx 760
3A = approx 1900
I will reach by 1pm
Buses completely booked...

I have commented on it. It is good. I see potential for entertaining posts in the future. :-)
Just one tip for you: Try typing out ur post in a Word doc, so that you can do a spell & grammar check...and then paste it on ur blog for publishing...
Blog looks good too!!

i will book for it na?
done!

OMG..i better change the status msg...you pervert! hehe.. :-)

changed my status...i am sure Miss P will have a few words of her own to say about this...hehe..you are going to be Miss P for me from now onwards...as long as I am MarChand for you...(why me????)
MarChand reminds me of Chanda.....dont tell me tht is french now...any name eh?...hmm...I would liked to be addressed as Princess Diana...plzzz

yep...all my probs so far are solved.... :-) (happy moment smile!)

its a place where the Dutch have been there before...even Jews...I guess Portuguese too...

I look forward to sit back and enjoy such crazy lazy days in future !

In ashes - A momentary halt to life

One always thinks of catastrophes that can happen to one self. Some may say that this is negative thinking but I think the human mind has such tendencies which is quite normal. Some like to openly express it out and some don't like to. The ones who openly express it out are often misunderstood for being pessimists.

At times, I used to wonder, what would have happened to me if I was living anywhere close to where the Tsunami hit in 2004? Or what if I met with a tragic accident that did not result in my death but would have left me in a crippled state? Well, I don't go on endlessly thinking like this as my own thoughts scare me and I end it then and there.

My mind did go through a whirlwind of similar thoughts in the wee hours of September 16. Early morning thoughts?? Yes, unfortunately that is when the fire broke out in the flat right above mine. I don't think I would ever forget the incident for many reasons. I was able to witness various reactions from people around me. The incident turned out to be the perfect example that life, after all, can end up in ashes, any day, any time.

It was 3:15am and I could faintly hear the door bell ringing endlessly. As I was trying to get out of my sweet slumber, I could also hear a constant banging on the front door. All of a sudden, I realised it was not one of my crazy senseless dreams. The sounds were very real and I jumped out of bed at the immediate realisation of the same.

Riya and myself headed towards the front door. I felt some maniac was desperately trying to get into our house. We almost called out at the same time to the stranger outside, "Who is it?". The only difference in what came out of my mouth and hers was the language and the tone. I ended up blurting out in a half frantic voice, "Aara?" (which means 'Who is it?' in Malayalam). Yeah, it beats me too as to why on earth I would say that considering I live in Chennai. According to Riya, people in fear will end up blurting out anything under the sun in their mother tongue and I proved to be a perfect example for this...sigh...

I finally opened the door and saw Amar (the watchman) who quickly blabbered something (which at that time I strongly believe was the 'fear' version of some Indian language) and ran downstairs. I was stunned and was wondering what the hell was going on. I looked out of the flat confused and still in my sleepy state (this state refers to me looking like a zombie puppy with my hair in a mess). Amar came back and the moment he saw my confused look, started screaming out pointing his hand upwards, "Aag...Aag...AC par aag laga hai...." (Fire..Fire...The AC has caught fire...). Please forgive me if my recollection of the Hindi phrases are incorrect as I have very well proved earlier in this post that I was in Malayalam fear mode at the time.

A fire? Seriously, in our building? I was looking at him in disbelief until I saw Nisha coming downstairs. In fact, she appeared to come out of a black cloud of some sort (do not misunderstand that my brain works slowly, like I mentioned earlier, I was in zombie puppy state). It took just seconds to realise that the black cloud was indeed a black cloud of smoke. Nisha came down the stairs, saw me and said, "My flat is on fire!!" That woke me up big time and I realised that everyone was rushing downstairs and Amar was desperately trying to get everyone out of the building.

I was totally not prepared for this and I came out wearing my T-shirt and short skirt (please stop all possible imagination right now). It was an unusually cold and windy night and I started to shiver a bit. (This was one moment I really wished this was just nothing but a dream....after all....shivering in Chennai???) All of us assembled outside the building and looked skywards. We were a bunch of helpless souls watching raging flames which seemed had enough potential to likely engulf the entire terrace. My flat was just below the terrace (Gulp!). I looked around and I could see people hurriedly dialing all the possible emergency numbers. I saw a couple of people who took off in their bikes to get to the nearest police check post to alert them of the situation. I could see sleepy worried looks on everyone's' face. I could hear gossip talks on the likely cause of the fire. The topic that disturbed most of us was the possibility of the gas cylinder inside Nisha's flat catching fire and leading to an explosion which will result in a fire that would be really difficult to control and put out.

Meanwhile, I could see Nisha pacing up and down, constantly talking over the phone. Poor thing must be really worried. We spoke to her for some time. I felt she was comparatively composed and I think was quite positive minded that the fire would not result in a major loss. Riya and myself were thinking that we are empty handed and what if the fire spread to the floor beneath. That thought left both of us uneasy. It made us realise how we take life for granted. How can we be so sure that there will definitely be a tomorrow? Are we always prepared for the worst?

Riya was suggesting that we should always keep a bag that has all our important stuff so that when we need to run out, we can do so by just taking that bag with us. It sounded like a practical idea but would any of us really implement it? I am sure many of us out there would think it is a crazy idea. But you wouldn't if you ended up standing outside your building at 3:30am watching the terrace on fire and wishing that you could have at least taken your purse out with you.

The fire brigade finally arrived after an hour and took more than half an hour to put out the fire. Finally we walked upstairs to have a look at the flat only to find charred remains of the same. It was impossible to say that there was once a double bed, laptop, etc as we could not make out any of it. Nisha was standing in one corner and sobbing. She was lucky to have got out of the flat on time.

Incidents like these often prove to be a reality check. There need not be a rosy tomorrow as it takes only a few seconds for life to turn upside down. The words that were ringing in my mind for a while: "It is better to live life to the fullest than not to have lived a life at all".