Ruffled thoughts

Recently I visited Marina Beach in Chennai. It is really a long stretch and I had gone in the evening with friends. There was a cool breeze and all of us had a relaxing time. Yes, this is the very same beach where many witnessed the Tsunami and drove everyone into a frenzy. A shiver still goes down one's spine at the very thought of it. I closed my eyes and my mind travelled way back in time and ruffled through some strange thoughts once again.

I had written a poem way back in 2004; thankfully I have the habit of noting down the date (at least the year) for most of the stuff I write. This is based on a nightmare I had around that time. It was the 4th of November. I remember that it was a lazy afternoon and I was studying for an exam and as usual, fell asleep on my book. The bad dream lasted only for a few minutes but that was enough to leave my mind disturbed for a very long time.

In my dream, I was walking with my family on the beach. The sea was calm and waves came in and tickled at our feet. Although I was walking with them, I slowly lagged behind. I was really enjoying myself with the waves lashing at my feet and did not realize that I was away from everyone. All of a sudden I see a huge wave; huge was just not the word to describe it. It looked unreal to me. Before I could do anything, I was swept away and dragged into the sea. I could hear someone call out my name. It was my father, rushing towards me to catch hold of me. But all his efforts were in vain, I was swept completely and the next minute I woke up in fright, sweating with fear. I was thinking of the dream the rest of the day and thought as to why the wave was so huge. How unreal it was. Not that it was unusual for me to have weird dreams, but this one lingered in my mind for quite a while. Writing has often proved as a stress buster for me so that night I sat down and wrote a poem, loosely based on my dream. I did not want to pen down how huge the wave was, probably I was not convinced how waves be as huge as I had seen them in my dream. So keeping that in mind, that night I wrote the following poem:

Dated : ( 4/11/2004)

Rose

Staring at sea,
Staring at nothingness in front of me,
Staring at the cause of my silence,
Since the day Rose left me.

So tiny was she,
Full of giggles & dimpled smiles,
My fingers held her hand,
She knew she was safe with me.

Living by the seashore,
The waves knew me,
At every stage of my life,
I shared it with the sea,
They were such good listeners,
Expressions they evoked,
Sometimes with furious waves,
Sometimes with gentle,
caressing waves at my feet,
They listened to my woes and happy dreams.

Nostalgic memories of Rose’s birth,
Flashes back into my mind,
I remember I broke the news first to the sea,
Their waves came ashore, sharing their happiness with me.

A year passed by,

Rose began to crawl,

Before I knew it,

She started to walk.

I took her by the hand,

Introduced her to the sea,

Her anxious eyes soon relaxed,

She became friends with the sea.

A few years passed by,

Her bond with the sea,

Became strong as ever,

Just like mine with the sea.

One day sitting at the shore,

Watching Rose play with receding waves,

She squealed with delight, as the waves tickled at her feet.

As I listened to Rose's happy giggles,

I closed my eyes and laid back,

Feeling the salty breeze,

Blow against me.

Rose's voice started to fade away,

I thought I fell asleep,

Her squeals sounded of terror and fright,

I opened my eyes and ran towards the raging waves,

But Rose was nowhere in sight,

Only raging sounds of water,

The waves wickedly laughed at me.

I sat and stared at the sea,

It was nothingness to me,

Numbed with sadness and agony,

Ever since the day Rose left me.

On 26th December 2004, I realised what I saw in my dream was not unreal and if I had known what a tsunami was, I would have not underplayed the ferocious waves in my poem. May the souls who passed away on that day, rest in eternal peace.