Finally my tears made sense….

Some of you might be thinking that I am on an emotional streak as some of my posts are becoming a little sentimental. It is because right now I do not really have people who have the patience to listen to the crap I have to blurt out every day. This post is dedicated to two wonderful individuals who had the patience to listen to my blabber and crap; Smitha and Divya. And I truly miss them a lot.

The day Smitha left Chennai, I cried a lot at the railway station. I was quite surprised at myself. I agree I was very sad but I could not understand the reason for crying uncontrollably. Later on, it all made sense. I feel at some level, I knew that I would never come across people who could totally understand me and get along with me and my occasional weirdness. I was mentally stronger when it was time for Divya to leave, by then I had accepted the fact that we would have to part, at some point in time.

This post will be long. Read it only if you have time. Although Smitha and Divya were my college mates, I got to know them well only after I moved in with them in Chennai.

I decided to start my career in Chennai for a lot of reasons. I later realized not all reasons made any sense. I had a set of friends who tried to persuade me to work in Bangalore. But there was something about Bangalore which kept me pushing it down on my list of places I wanted to work. I know that if I had chosen Bangalore, life would have taken a different course. I think it was written in my fate to land in Chennai and go through all the experiences that I have gone through so far.

I had a special bond with Chennai right from my school days. I had visited this terribly humid and sweaty city a couple of times and there was something about it I always liked. It was a big city unlike Bangalore and it was not too fast and not too conservative. I liked this combination of modernity and conservativeness, it matched my personality too. The famous bookshop Landmark and Nungambakkam area are quite nostalgic as my parents and I had spent a lot of time in these areas many years ago.

A lot of my college mates had moved into Chennai for work and I felt it would be a good option to be in a city where you know familiar faces. But I was to realize soon, that no one has much time for anyone in a big city like Chennai.

My house-hunting experience was not all that great. I had some 'friends' who told me that they would help me out in finding a place since I was not familiar with Chennai. I soon realized that were just sugar-coated words. Finally, my college mate Sandhya agreed to come with me to check out a pay-guest (PG) accommodation. Compared to the many terrible ones I had seen, this one was better and I finalized it fast. I was looking forward to getting to know the rest of the housemates but only to realize later that I was on my own in that house.

My first few days in office were not so great to remember. I didn't have anyone to go for lunch with. It felt weird to sit at a table either alone or with total strangers and have lunch. I realized that I had taken for granted the circle of friends I had back in college during lunch hour; I missed them terribly. But I don't totally regret these experiences; I realize they taught me to be independent. It taught me that I can go alone for lunch and that is not a reason for self-pity. Whenever I sit alone having lunch, I observe what I eat and the people all around me. Many a time, I like having lunch alone now. I also like doing many things on my own.

A couple of months later, my parents had come to drop me off at my PG. My mom later told me it was a sad sight to see me go to my room, all alone, with no one to talk to. After that, even my parents insisted on shifting to a house with college mates if possible. I could not initially move in with my college mates as there was no vacancy in any of the houses. I started to feel that opting for Chennai was not a very good idea, but thankfully these thoughts did not last for long.

One day, Smitha called me to tell me that she and her roommates were planning to move to a house and were looking for a fourth roommate. Ever since, my life totally changed. I moved in with them and had the time of my life. The house at Besant Nagar truly became my second home. We had a lot of fun times and it was sad it lasted only for just a year. I miss the times when Divya and I used to talk endlessly till early morning. I miss the times when all of us used to have dinner watching our favourite show, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. It was like a ritual for us to have our usual rice, curd, egg, pickle and maybe one more curry for dinner and watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S on the laptop. However tiring and frustrating my day may be the thought of coming home and talking to my roomies was a stress buster in itself. God knows how many times I may have bored them but they always seem to enjoy the description of the characters that I often work with in the office.

Now, I do not stay with people who are like them and I realize that all I have got are sweet memories of the good old days that I had spent with them.

Divya and Smitha, you gals mean a lot to me!!

Image Courtesy - http://hostilehaiku.blogspot.com/